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{"id":2831,"date":"2022-01-29T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-01-29T08:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/?p=2831"},"modified":"2023-09-15T00:30:08","modified_gmt":"2023-09-14T22:30:08","slug":"lessons-from-2021","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/2022\/01\/29\/lessons-from-2021\/","title":{"rendered":"2021: Toxic Traits and Self-Discovery"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Hi everyone<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">This post is somewhat late. I have been going back and forth deciding whether I really wanted to write it. This is because I have come to see just how problematic New Year&#8217;s resolutions can be. Resolutions, at times, have a way of holding us back; keeping us trapped in our old ways instead of propelling us to where we want to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">So this post isn&#8217;t dedicated to New Year&#8217;s resolutions. It&#8217;s a post about what I learnt in 2021 and how I will use that new found knowledge to push my dreams forward in 2022.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">My 2021 can be grouped into two categories: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>My toxic traits (because no-one is perfect);<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Uncovering other parts of me<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">My Toxic Traits<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">One thing I have noticed about myself is that I can be very emotionally manipulative; a trait I share with many Aquarians. For the longest time I didn&#8217;t realise that I was using emotional manipulation to get what I want. I have used self-pity and sadness to somewhat manipulate those around me into giving me the answers I want. It is something that I no longer want to do and actively try not to do. I know now that in order to move away from this type of being, I have to address the issues of self-pity. It&#8217;s okay to feel sad, but it&#8217;s not okay to weaponise that sadness and use it against people you love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">I have also realised that I have a lot of preconceived notions about what my friends think of me. For the longest time I have held the belief that my friends don&#8217;t really love me or value me. However, I now know that this belief does not stem from them not loving me, but stems from the fact that I do not love or value myself to the extent that my friends do. And because I don&#8217;t love or value myself to that extent, I have a hard time believing that those around me can. And this has affected my of my friendships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">In order to heal these relationships, I need to allow people to carry me and love me through certain situations without questioning their motives. But more importantly, I need to start loving myself, caring for myself and valuing myself in the way that I want others to love, care and value me. The extent to which you love and value yourself is the extent to which you believe others can love and value you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Uncovering parts of me<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">2021 was a year that I uncovered and healed certain parts of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">In May of 2021 I got <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/2019\/06\/23\/loony-bin\/\" target=\"_blank\">hospitalised<\/a>. While I was there, people started pointing out parts of me that I had never noticed. They said that I am a very calm person and I make those around me feel secure in who they are. Which is somewhat contradictory to how I view myself. But then again, how one views themselves is not always an accurate portrayal of who they truly are. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">It was in the hospitalise that I realised that I love making people feel heard, feel seen and valued. Although scared to admit it, I want to become a clinical psychologist. Yes, its a drastic pivot from my current job (an internal auditor). You have to understand, for the longest time I didn&#8217;t know what I wanted to be. And so I continued to move further and further in the wrong direction. But now I know that I cannot keep moving in that direction. It&#8217;s 2022 and I will no longer allow the fears of others prevent me from living my dream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Apart from discovering my true calling, I was also introduced to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.intuitiveeating.org\/10-principles-of-intuitive-eating\/\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.intuitiveeating.org\/10-principles-of-intuitive-eating\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">intuitive eating<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">I have been counting calories for an extremely long time; just one of the way an eating disorder manifests. After being hospitalised, I decided I wouldn&#8217;t count calories anymore. Rather, I would listen to my body and give it what it needs. The human body is amazing; it knows what it wants and needs, and in what quantity. By allowing my body more autonomy, I have become less anxious around food. I no longer experience the crippling shame that came with eating &#8220;unhealthy&#8221; food.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">Contrary to what might think, your body doesn&#8217;t go into a tailspin. What most surprised me is that my body craved good, homecooked meals. And because I was no longer afraid to eat (and be seen eating) &#8220;unhealthy&#8221; food, I didn&#8217;t want it anymore. My weight over these past two months has been the most stable in a very long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">I don&#8217;t want to make it sound like it was easy. It took a lot of time and effort, a lot patience and kindness to get to this point&#8230;all while still going to therapy. But it&#8217;s worth it for those who suffer from eating disorders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">2021 was one hell of a year. Through all the struggles and setbacks, I learnt so much about myself. And for that, I will be forever grateful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify\">Happy 2022:)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hi everyone This post is somewhat late. I have been going back and forth deciding whether I really wanted to write it. This is because I have come to see just how problematic New Year&#8217;s resolutions can be. Resolutions, at times, have a way of holding us back; keeping us trapped in our old ways<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3321,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-photo-5715256.jpeg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2831"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2831"}],"version-history":[{"count":28,"href":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2831\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3325,"href":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2831\/revisions\/3325"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3321"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2831"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2831"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.roslimbo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2831"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}