There are days when giving up feels easier that striving for your dream. You grow tired, impatient and lose all will to live.
For a few weeks now I have been contemplating giving up on my dream of writing. It all began when my application to Oxford University was declined. Hearing, or in this case reading, no from an institution I have always dreamt of attending shattered my hopes of writing. Their rejection seemed to be a measure of all the time and hard work I had out into my writing. Why did they say no: Had I not worked hard enough? We’re so many people that much be the than I was? Or am I a delusional wannabe that has failed to see that their writing is not that great? In that moment they snatched my dreams from my hands and left me distraught.
For a week I kept the news to myself. I didn’t want to hear people telling me how I shouldn’t expect to get into Oxford. I didn’t want to disappoint those that believes in my dream. But more than anything, I didn’t want to be pitied. As the days passed, I felt the longing to write leave me. Ideas would no longer pop in my head after a great conversation; movies wouldn’t inspire blog posts; and the thought of shutting down my blog crossed my mind more than once. I was done, defeated. I felt like Manchester United during the Moyes era:(
But the thing about dreams is that they never let you sleep. They will keep presenting themselves at every possible opportunity. They keep tugging at your mind until your soul wakes up from its slumber and finds a way to make them a reality. Well at least that is how it has been for me. No matter how much I gave wanted to give up, something keeps pulling back to it. Whether it was being a monthly contributor to an online magazine, or being featured on your favourite website; there has always been something that keeps pushing me back into the ring and urging me to fight for what I want.
It is not easy to follow ones dreams. It always feels as though there are mountains and valleys that are always trying to keep you away from your destiny. However I have come to realise that those pit-stops along the way are simply learning opportunities that should be taken full advantage of. They teach you patience and humility; understanding and tenacity; kindness and honesty.
So learn from your detours, take each no as a “not now” and remember that dreams that keep you awake are worth pursuing.