Caught Between Two Personalities

I can never tell whether I am an introvert or an extrovert. There are times when I ramble uncontrollably, then there are days when I prefer to remain in my little corner and watch the world.

If you ask my family I am loud and dramatic. An individual who isn’t afraid of anything and ready to push the boundaries. In other words, I’m their very own Laura Croft. Their, sometimes, exaggerated claims of my strengths and accomplishments make it seem as though I am the butt-kicking action hero who has been through everything and came out even stronger. I’m fearless and often live like I have no commitments to the world. I am a strong daughter, a stubborn sister and a loving aunt.

I see myself a tad different. I see myself as a quiet, almost fragile being. I like observing the way others live their life, in hopes to learning something in the process. I spend a lot of time thinking about anything and everything. My mind wonders from the characters in Paulo Coelho books, to ways in which I can help save people in countries like Syria and the DRC. I question my ability to live my life to the fullest and fulfil my life purpose. I spend a lot of time trying to turn my weaknesses into strengths. This has shown me the complexities of the human spirit. I admire the world I’m surrounded by as it is filled with so much beauty and love. I refuse to watch news because of all the negativity it portrays; I hide in my work, secretly hoping to encourage others to live bigger and louder than people expect them to.

Under normal circumstances, I would be classified a sufferer of multiple personality disorder. However I think my friend Sade said it best when she said “Ros you are like an ant – the strongest animal in the world, but still very fragile to the world around it.”